Charlie

2006 - 2021

My little Charlie bear - momma loves you so much. You were my one and only friend who stuck by me through everything. No matter how bad it got, you were always there when nobody else was. Now you’re with your brother kitty, and sitting with your papa in the big blue chair eating cheese and sausages. My little grunty dog, my sweet puppy girl. I miss you so much. I’d do anything to feel you licking my ears and cleaning my brain just one more time. I’ll always be here to scoop your butt and hold you like a baby, and sit in my lap like a person. I’ll miss you trying to steal bottles that weren’t quite empty yet so you could unscrew the cap and pull off the ring. My little fat dog, my Charlie girl. I feel empty without you. There’s a big hole ripped clean through me that I will never be able to fill. I had no idea you were so sick - I’m so sorry that you felt bad and I didn’t know. Mommy never wanted you to feel bad, and I would have taken you to the doctor to make you better if I had any clue you were hurting. I wish you could have talked to me and let me know something was wrong. It breaks my heart to know we could have done something to help - I’ll never forgive myself for not knowing something was wrong until it was too late. I was ready to spend any amount for treatment, but when I got home that afternoon and saw you so weak, I knew no amount of money and treatment would ever make you better again. And even if it would, you would not have a good quality of life for your remaining years. I hope you can forgive me for not knowing something was wrong. Rocky Doo misses you too - he keeps looking for you all over the house. I miss you so much, little girl, my sweet baby - it hurts so very bad. Even if it hurts forever, it will never hurt as bad as I know you were that last day. I will never forgive myself for not knowing something was wrong and getting you to the doctor sooner. I’m so sorry baby girl. I don’t know what to do without you. I just keep holding your blanket and your food dish, clinging desperately and begging to hear your little paws click down the hallway. I love you with my whole soul, Charlie bear; I hope we will be together again one day. When it’s my turn to cross the bridge, I hope you’re there on the other side to nip at my legs and claw runs in my stockings, and bark at me to fix your breakfast and dinner food. Be a good dog for mommy - I miss you and love you and I’ll be home in a little while.